Like so many of you, the Ted Lasso series on Apple+ has been one of my all-time favorite programs. I am a bit of a sucker for shows with meaning and positivity I will admit. (I know, eye-roll….)
One of my favorite episodes includes the dart game between Ted and Rupert at Mae’s pub – (Season 1, Episode 8… the whole episode is fun).
Ted Lasso Dart Scene – “Be Curious”
Just like everyone in the pub, I was surprised at how the game ended – and especially with the clear lesson Ted imparted to Rupert around not knowing or understanding your opponent. Yes, the full quote referenced is “be curious, not judgmental”, but I really liked the line that followed: “If they were curious, they would have asked questions”.
Rupert did not ask any questions. He wasn’t curious. He lost.
What does that have to do with communication?
Being curious means that you have to extend yourself. Put yourself out there. Part of that, naturally, is asking questions. If you are curious but don’t ask any questions you won’t get very far.
It’s the “asking questions” part that requires good communication skills.
In the first place, if we are not comfortable talking to or interfacing with others, asking questions presents a significant challenge. The willingness to ask questions is essential in every aspect of life: at your new job, in a class where you might be struggling, in a relationship. Think about how important it might be for you to ask “What does that mean?” or “How does that work?” or “Will you help me?”
Secondly, HOW we ask questions is also critical. I am a big question-asker, and it took me many years to realize that the way I asked questions – my communication style – was often intimidating, and even off-putting. And I thought I was just asking good questions!
A good example might be when you need to learn about a task or process in the workplace. You are naturally curious to learn more and ask “Why do you do it that way?” Well, asked the wrong way that question can actually come across as a criticism (“that’s a stupid way to do it”), when you might have just wanted to learn more details (“what are other important things I should know?”). So tone of voice, pace, and inflection are important factors in how you might come across.
There’s more to come in the realm of curiosity, questions and communication. Stay tuned!
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